Tuesday, September 26, 2006

This Death In History: Emily Post, 86

Last night I went out and played my final game of softball in 2006. It was fun, we lost, both games, but I made one brilliant catch that is going to live forever in my personal highlight reel…I’m soooo conceited

So last night started like this...got to the park a little early, talked to a friend for a bit, another guy on the team walked over the three of us started b.s.-ing then decided to head out to the field to toss the ball around. I had downed a couple of Red Bulls (I’m old, I have to do that now a days) and it made me, how should I say, slightly gassy? Now I’ve often held the personal belief that every person has one mutant power, it’s a comic geeks basis on their existence really. So my one mutant power is the ability to burp. Not just some tiny little bitty ‘a,b,c’ type cute burps but window shaking, car alarm starting, from far inner reaches deep down inside me full on belches. So we’re walking…and I just let one go…my friend J, who has experienced worse explosions from me, just shook his head but the other guy, D, this was something new from a person he had only met a 5 days earlier. I giggled afterwards and said “…and I wonder why I’m single”. Besides that little show of vulgarity I really wasn’t on my best behavior. I later told D “if I ever played [softball] with him again I was going to drop a Xanex in his Powerade” and the oh so eloquent “Chill the fuck out”. Now I know I’ve got my faults. I’m rather obnoxious, a wee bit abrasive, compulsive yet lazy and as I discovered last night a little immature (the Pez collection & comic books should have clued me in earlier, huh?). Basically, I am Emily Posts worst nightmare.

Emily Post once said "Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces everything. It is the code of sportsmanship and of honor. It is ethics." She started her writing career at the turn of the century, writing about such things as architecture and interior design for magazines. Her writing career further expanded when she started writing books about travel; in 1922 her book Etiquette was published. She later started speaking on radio programs and wrote a daily column about ‘good taste’ which eventually appeared in over 200 newspapers. Her advice was pretty broad but her basic belief was that "no one should do anything that can either annoy or offend the sensibilities of others”. (oops)

Ms. Post passed away after a brief illness.

October 27, 1893 – September 25, 1960
RIP

as a post script to this entry...I clean up well and I'd say about 98% am pretty demure & well behaved.

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Monday, September 25, 2006

Danny Flores, 77


I could go on another rant about me being a band geek – the almighty sax player - but I think I’ve pretty much solidified myself as a huge dork so I’ll pull out another treasured memory.
In 1988 I was dating my very first love, we’ll call him E, that’s no were near his name but there’s story that tags along with that...ah memories.
That year my bf graduated from high school, started college and applied for and received his very first credit card. So we did what every normal red-blooded teenage nerd would do…went on a shopping spree at Toys r Us, of course! I can’t remember everything we got, it was a ton of geeky stuff, one of the strange things that brought us together was our absolute admoration of Gumby so I’m sure there was a couple of Gumby & Pokey toys in our basket. But the one thing I know he got FOR SURE! was a Pee Wee Herman talking doll, some plush thing that when you pulled the string it said “I know you are but what am I” & that dorky laugh. E had a friend, we’ll call him E2, (same nickname – told you long story) and those two would do that laugh nonstop. 1988 was also the year that Big Top Pee Wee hit the movie theatres. Even though that "Tequila" song was in the original, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, those two boys would do that dance…it was the laugh, the dance, the toys – it was some sort of torture. But they had friends over 21 that would buy for us…so once we got a little buzzed – it was funny as hell.

Danny Flores a.k.a. Chuck Rio was the composer of ‘Tequila’. In 1957 he was recording with rock-a-billy singer David Burgess; one of the songs they worked on was a riff that he played with his sax and occasionally shouted out “Tequila”. The next year it was put out on a B-Side under the group name Champs and Danny changed his name to Chuck Rio because technically was under contract with another label company. The song ended up be a Grammy winner as best Rhythm & Blues performance in 1959 and has pretty much been an anthem for drunken frat parties and Pee Wee Herman freaks around the world.

Mr. Flores passed away from undisclosed causes.

July 11, 1929 - September 19, 2006
RIP

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Saturday, September 23, 2006

Richard Caleal, 94







There are a lot of Ford naysayers out in the world. They say such things as 'Ford stands for...'


  • Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge
  • Friggin Over Rated Disaster
  • Fifth On Race Day
  • Fix Or Repair Daily
  • Fucker Only Runs Downhill
  • Fucking Old Rebuilt Datsun
  • Backwards: Driver Returns On Foot
  • or the truest observation: Fired or retired daily
But, me? I'm in love with my Ford. Haven't had a problem with it since the day I bought it (thank god, keeping my fingers crossed).
The car company may be looking on pretty crappy times these days but it's not the first time. Back in the late 40's Ford was going through a huge financial slump after WW2. The car company was churning out basically the same 1942 model for a few too many years. They contracted George Wallace Studios to come up with a new design for their 1949 model. Richard Caleal, a freelancer, designed a prototype quarter scale clay model in his kitchen. Henry Ford II approved the design and the rest was history. The 1949 Ford was a hit with consumers and pretty much saved the automaker.

His contribution to the auto industry has been imortilized in exhibits at the Henry Ford Museum and the Arab American National Museum.

The cause of Mr. Caleals death was not disclosed.

September 12, 1912 - September 16, 2006
RIP

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Friday, September 22, 2006

This Death In History: Fiorello H. La Guardia, 64


I've got this strange curiosity about names of streets, cities, airports, etc. It's easy to figure out how certain places were named like the George Washington Bridge, The Lincoln Tunnel, JFK Airport (see a trend here?) Call it stupid but I'd like to think of it as just another batch of brain cell dedicated to useless trivia - I'm a wiz at NTN !!!

Fiorello H. LaGuardia was mayor of New York City from 1934 to 1945 and is considered to be one of the finest mayors because of his role during and after the Great Depression.

LaGuardia was born in New York but grew up in Arizona & Italy before returning the Big Apple to attend New York University. His political career started as an Attorney General in 1914, was elected to the House of Representative in 1916, served in World War I from 1917 - 1919.

He was a very diverse and opinionated guy. In love with politics, New York City & the arts he lobbied the Federal Government for funds, established a public works program which employed thousands of New Yorkers, pushed for a commercial airport (LaGuardia Airport), spoke seven languages, and established the LaGuardia High School of Performing Arts.

His life was subject of the play Fiorello.

Mayor LaGuardia passed away from pancreatic cancer.

December 11, 1882 - September 20, 1947 - RIP
(so I'm late - sue me)

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Mickey Hargitay, 80



Everyone has their 'perfect type' the one characteristic that draws you in and wants to get to know them better. It could be the eyes, the ass, the tits or something a bit creepy like toes.

My type depends on the mood I'm in. Some days it's tall & somewhat of an athletic build - not muscle bound kinda like John Cusack. Other days it's blonde with big boobs, you know, like Janine Lindemulder. Don't know what dictates the driving factor...I'm just a girl that likes the extremes I guess.

As creepy as it may sound I think I would be in lust with a couple like Mickey Hargitay & Jane Mansfield. They both fit my description of lust worthy. I'd probably be a big mess of drool if I was lucky enough to be in their presence.

Mickey Hargitay was born in Hungry (go team) and was the son of an acrobat and was raised in a very athletic environment. He immigrated to the United States in 1947. Somewhere along the way he was inspired to start body building and claimed the title Mr.Universe in 1955. He parlayed this title into a show business career. He met Ms. Mansfield while performing in Mae West's Muscle Man Revue. He started in a few movies with Jayne such as "Will Sucess Spoil Rock Hunter?" . After his divorce he continued to work in motion pictures, Italian westerns and horror movies mainly. He moved on from Hollywood to a sucessful real estate career. But he recently went back to the small screen as a guest spot on his daugter, Mariska Hargitays', show "Law & Order: SVU".

Mr. Hargitay passed away from bone marrow cancer or multiple myeloma.

January 6, 1926 - September 14, 2006 - RIP

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Monday, September 18, 2006

Patricia Kennedy, 82

One of my least favorite traits in people is the name dropping, glomming on to friends of famous friends to get a chance to schmooze with celebrities. If you had enough talent, skills or personality you could be a true friend/associate rather then using a family member or friend. I've ran into a few people like this in my life, too bad, such a waste of sperm.

I know the story is that Patricia Kennedy's' brother, John F., introduced her to her husband Peter Lawford but I think that this introduction was a way to solidify his connection to the Rat Pack and closer to his alleged mistress Marilyn Monroe. But maybe that's my imagination working overtime. I've been accused of that before.

She worked with her brothers, John, Robert & Edwards political campaigns. After her divorce from Peter in 1965 she moved to New York and worked with the Committee of Literary Arts, the Kennedy Library and the National Center of Addiction.

She passed away due to complications of pneumonia.

May 6, 1924 - September 17, 2006 - RIP

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Friday, September 08, 2006

Willi Ninja, 45


Remember back in the day when you were branded what type of person you were by what music you listened to?
I went to this private (read snotty) high school where money mattered and if you looked strange you were mocked. Most of my friends went to (evil) public high school where crap like that existed but it didn't seem to matter as much. One crowd that I hung out with were the 'hairband headbangers' - yes I did own a Bon Jovi tape. The other crowd were the skaters & punks, I was a little ramp groupie on the weekend and a Aquanet abuser during the week. It was a double life that I hoped wouldn't slam into each other - damn that would have been embarrassing. But what would be even more shameful to admit was that I owned a New Kids on the Block tape and a Madonna tape. I swear it was only because it was good music to work out too! Even so I should have been proud to admit that my musical tastes could not be pigeonholed. But what the hell did I know. So as any Midwest suburbanite white chick would admit back then we all thought that Madonna was the greatest thing known to man - hell she came up with that whole weird dance thing, Vogue, right? What a genius pioneer!! It wasn't until I got into college and the gays set me straight. Madonna was cool BUT she ripped off the New York gays with that whole Voguing bullshit.

Willi Ninja (born William Leake) was a cult hero in the New York drag ball circuit and a master of the art of voguing. He dance talents were featured in the critically acclaimed movie "Paris is Burning" . In 2004, he opened a modeling agency called EON (Elements of Ninja) and on the side worked with top celebrities such as Naomi Campbell and Paris Hilton to perfect their runway/red carpet struts.

Willi passed away due to AIDS related heart failure.

April 12, 1961 - September 2, 2006
RIP

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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Steve Irwin, 44



I'm not a big crocodile fan. In fact during those 'fun' field trips to the Detroit Zoo the Holden Museum of Living Reptiles was my least favorite attraction. Those things are just a bit too squirmy for my taste. In fact the only time I touched a snake was during my freshmen year in high school when I was trying to impress a guy that I had a crush on. So not worth it - we ended up dating for about a day & a half. Seems as though his mother wasn't impressed with my musical tastes and smashed my Suicidal Tendencies tape that I leant him. But I'm going way off the subject at hand, aren't I? (Big Flipping Surprise there, huh?)

Steve Irwin was, should I say, in love with the whole the crocodile thing. His parents started the Queensland Reptile and Fauna Park which Steve took over in 1991. His love for these creatures and his on air presence during guest spots on shows like The Tonight Show with Jay Leno seg wayed into his own show on Animal Plant. He just had recently decided that the ocean would be his new frontier.

Irwin was killed when he swam over a string ray and it's venomous barbs shot up to his heart. It has been determined that it was the actual puncture wound that killed Irwin rather then the venom. His death was actually caught on camera and per his daredevil mentality his family believes that the footage of his death should be made available to the public.

February 22, 1962 - September 4, 2006

RIP

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